Monday, May 23, 2016
So, my birthday happened recently, on the 11th. As far as weekday birthdays go, it was pretty darn delightful. Seeing Fight Club with my friends at Film Club, then immediately running to see Captain America: Civil War made for an excellent night.
My age, however... I'm feeling much less excellent about that. I'm 28 now. I'm staring down the barrel at 30 and my life doesn't look even a little bit like I wanted to by now. Still broke, still single, college drop-out, and I still havent managed to write anything with a goddamn ending.
I'm not saying everything sucks, I'm just being forced to deal with the fact that all my plans for my life went up in flames and I'm faced with a blank chalkboard, and it's just a little terrifying.
On the bright side, of course, I've been much happier in the last year or so. I cut a lot of really toxic people out of my life, which left me pretty heartbroken. It was really hard for a really long time, but eventually the sucky feelings of losing them were replaced by the blissful realization that I was actually much better off without all the drama and headache and heartache they were causing me.
ProTip: If some one (or a group of someones) makes you feel like shit more often than they don't, they're probaby not your friends.
So, while I'm not where I want to be, I'm still in a pretty good place.
In other news, for the three of you still reading this, you may or may not notice that about half my posts have been deleted or hidden. I don't know what exactly it was but there was something in the air around here that I needed to get rid of. Some of these posts, I'll rewrite and post, and some are just gone forever now.
Not that things are going to be much different around here; I still don't have any real direction for this thing, and that's fine with me. My life has no focus, why should my blog?
So. No focus, but some goals:
1. Consistency. I am, once again, making a post frequency goal. I've always failed at that before, because I've never felt like I really had anything to say that was worth reading, but fuck it, I'm going to post once a week even if it's just a round-up of that week's instagramming.
2. Prettyfication. If I manage to post consistently for three months, the I'm allowed to buy myself a pretty layout for my blog. That's only 12 posts; if i can't do that, I just suck.
That's it. That's the goal for now. Baby steps and shit.